My journey through the ‘dark side’ started when I was quite young. Although I was born into a christian belief, from a very young age I was taught of things based on the occult. My birth mother was an avid reader of anything that was not christian based. When we would visit her house there would be books on theology literally filling her book shelves.
The occult is a liberal term used to describe anything that is not ‘conformist’ christianity, in my opinion. Even christian based groups such as Jehovah’s witness and Mormonism have been referred to as occultist. In this post I would like to discuss my journey with Satanism.
My first ‘real’ boy friend was a Satanic High Priest. I never knew this until years later when a close friend had told me. During the time we were together he was nothing but lovely, polite, and extremely respectful. he was my first love, and even now I still love him very much. Just differently.
About a month into the relationship I cheated on him. No excuse for that, but I was very young and was very drunk. However, he found me before anything too untoward happened. A little time later, the person I was with was killed in a car accident. After learning what I now know, I truly believe this was not co-incidental, even though he was driving a car, at speed, and lost control on a corner when the tire blew out and the car ended up down a bank with him in it dead. No other person was involved at all, according to the police.
Six or seven months into the relationship my boyfriend had to go away to visit his parents who were ill. I never saw him again after that but we kept in touch for a year or so after he left via telephone and letters. Shortly after he left was when I had the accident. Sitting here, right now, I wonder if this was his work also, but I believe he loved me and would not want me to come to harm, but retribution is also high on his list.
Soon after we lost touch I was sleeping one night and had a dream. It was a rather bizarre dream, but I still remember it, even this long after it happened, because that dream changed my life.
The dream:
A woman in a white gown is in a room .. she is a prisoner and yet is free to come and go as she wishes. She walks through the village she lives in and men literally fall at her feet in worship of her while she is out, but behind her back they call her a temptress and a whore.
Next part of the dream, she is standing looking out her window at the sky when a demon comes to her and speaks with her telling her that all her problems will all be over if she devote her life and work to him. This demon is not satan, but a spokes person for him. She agrees.
Next she is at her window .. looking down on the street. She has been scorned by a lover who she sees walking below. She looks at him and points, no words are uttered. He turns to look into her eyes and then procedes to the highest building in the village and throws himself off sending himself to his death. Her eyes are vivid blue and upon her face is a faint smile.
At this point is where I woke up. When I awoke I felt a sudden sharp stab in my heart, and down my left arm. Then my arm went numb momentarily. It was at this point in time I lost all sense of emotion, nothing affected me anymore.
From that day forth, I could do not wrong. If I were mistreated in any manner by a man, my guardian angel would come down and sort vengeance on this person and I would not even know that this had happened until weeks, sometimes months, later.
I continued down this path for a number of years. And then another event would take place which would again change my life. I met the missionaries who would try to save me. I shall write of them in the next installment. All I can say at this point about them is they saved part of me, but there was too much of me that was rotten to the core that was unable to be mended by them.
Years went by … one or two maybe .. and then I met up with a friend who had introduced me to my boyfriend that had gone awol years before. During the conversation I asked her if she had seen him. That is when she told me what he was, and why she refused to talk to me after I met up with him, because she had seen the spell he had cast on his last girlfriend, which was her.
We compared notes. Similar events happened in her life as what had happened in mine after she hooked up with him. She was 5 years older than me, he was 16 years older. She had only introduced us in passing when he turned up at her house. And she tried to stop him from taking an interest in me, but his spirit was stronger than hers. (I do not know why I feel this is important to mention, but it is there now, so it can stay.)
She told me she used to live with him when they were together, and she had gone out one night but returned home early. I do not know if I should have believed her or not, but why would she lie? I chose to believe her story that follows.
She went out one night with friends. He was not a very social person and prefered to stay home (I know this to be true, because he was the same when we were together). She was young and full of life. He was young, but a decade older than her, and was a very quiet person in every manner.
Anyway, she returned home early. The lights were out, there were candles on the floor. (In his lounge there were carpets and wall hangings all around the place.) The carpets had all been rolled back against a wall .. and etched into the floor was an inverted pentagram and four symbols which formed a box kind of frame for the pentagram. Before him had been placed an altar.
My friend says she walked into the room, and instantly she felt like screaming, but she was too frozen with fear. He was sitting in the middle of the room, she said, and his eyes were blood red. He was chanting and doing some kind of ritual.
She says he stared at her, and almost immediately she went flying into the wall. Not only did she hit the wall, but she was expecting to fall, but didn’t. It was like being suspended, she advised. but nothing was holding her.
I started believing in demons after that day. I also started believing what the missionaries had told me a year or so before. I decided to start doing some research on demonology. Starting with the ones I knew already which had been in my body. I wanted to know what he had done to me, so I could try to cleanse myself.
