My arm
Posted by shiania on September 20, 2008
Ever since the day when I had the dream I spoke of in a previous entry, I have not been able to read the bible or partake in christian rituals. So many people take these things for granted, but for some of us, we can not do these basic things.
I attended church a couple of times a year in order to try to gain fulfillment from the christian lord. Ten minutes after leaving, do you think I could remember a single word spoken in the sermon? The answer is simply no.
Lately I have been in a chat program discussing christianity with people there . They all know that I am a pagan and they also know I am a journey of discovery and salvation, and they willingly accept me there.
Sometimes, because it is an open real time forum people come in and discuss theological viewpoints. Of course this is because the place where I discuss things like this is exactly for that reason. Sometimes the channel administrators are not there, so I start discussing theology with these people.
Twice, lately I have had discussions with people in here. Both times I have scared myself. My fingers started typing words and knowledge that I have never known. I can not substantiate my viewpoint because I have no facts to base this upon. Yet, in later discussion I have been told that my viewpoint is based on scripture. Scripture I do not know, and have never known.
At the end of both conversations where my fingers have done the talking, I have come to the realisation that my arm, the one that hurt the night of the dream, has been aching. My theory is that I speak with the remnants of demons left that have not been extradicted yet. And when they are forced to answer questions which demons can not possibly know the answer to, they retract back into me, which causes the ache.
People will think I am just plain crazy, and this may not be too far wrong from the truth. However, I fundamentally believe this, because i have no justification for the answers I am able to give at times with regard to theology and christianity, and to the best of my knowledge, i have never learned these things either.
